The Hate Vow: A Dark Enemies to Lovers Romance Page 19

  “Go find some other dick to ride,” I sneer, angry with myself for even thinking about fucking this chick. Pushing off the barstool, I shove past her, ignoring her disappointed whine.

  I head straight for the back door, wanting nothing more than to fall into my bed and sleep it off. Unfortunately, Maddox has other plans.

  He steps right in my way and puts his hand on my chest.

  “Where are you going? It’s not even midnight,” he slurs. “Did you not like the girl I sent over to you? She is your type, isn’t she?”

  My type? Everything with a vagina used to be my type. Emphasis on used to be.

  “I’m not in the mood. I’m going to bed,” I tell him while trying to push past him.

  “Ryder, it’s been a month. You’ve got to get over this chick. The guys are calling you a pussy.”

  “Let them say it to my face so we can see who the real pussy is.”

  “There is my friend.” Maddox chuckles, and he finally gets out of my way. “Fine, go to bed, but tomorrow night, you party with me until the sun comes up.”

  “We’ll see,” I tell him before walking back to my room. A room that has always been basically empty but never felt like it until now.

  35

  Penny

  Four Month Later

  No, no, no! This can’t be happening.

  “It’s too early. I can’t be in labor.” I shake my head.

  “Penny, your water just broke, and your contractions are coming closer together. The baby is coming,” my mom tells me, her voice unbelievably calm.

  How is she not freaking out right now?

  “But it’s too early.” I try to make her understand. “This is my fault. I should have gone to the doctor sooner. I should have eaten better and drank more water.”

  “Penny, you did amazing. The baby is just ready to meet you early. It’s no big deal. Everything is going to be fine,” she assures me, but it doesn’t calm me one bit.

  Three weeks early is a big deal. The baby is not done developing. All kinds of things could happen, and it’s all my fault.

  Mojo nudges my leg with his giant head. I run my fingers through his fur and scratch behind his ear, but he just whines. He knows I’m stressed out, and that’s stressing him out with me.

  “Got the bag.” My father leisurely walks down the stairs with the pre-packed bag in his hand.

  Why am I the only one freaking out?

  “How are you guys so calm?”

  “Because we know everything is going to be fine.” My mom wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a hug. I relax into her hold instantly. “Everything is going to be fine,” she repeats, “and you are going to be an amazing mother.”

  I can only hope she is right. Please, let her be right.

  Looking down at the tiny baby in my arms, I can’t wrap my mind around that she is mine.

  I named her Gwendolyn, after Ryder’s grandmother. I think he would like that, and I always loved the name. My mind brings me back to Ryder, and I wonder what he would think of having a child.

  I’ve thought about contacting him so many times, but in the end, I could never bring myself to do it. It’s going to be better like this, or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

  Gwen coos and wiggles in my hold. Even though she decided to come early, she is perfectly healthy. Her small fingers wrap around my index finger with a firm grip.

  I smile, just enjoying every moment. I could simply stare at her for hours and not only be entertained but content as well. I never knew I could feel such happiness.

  A knock on the door pulls me out of my bubble of glee. I tear my eyes away from my daughter and look up at the door, expecting my parents to be back. Instead, I see someone I never expected to see again.

  “Maddox?” I whisper, instinctively tucking Gwen closer to my chest.

  “Calm down, momma bear. I come in peace.” He chuckles and closes the door behind him.

  “What do you want?”

  “Just want to talk, that’s all.” He pulls the chair my mom sat on earlier closer to my bed and plops down on it.

  “I don’t want to talk to you.”

  “That’s fair. Just listen then.” He leans back in the chair and stretches his arms out like he is getting comfortable. “I was the one who told Ryder to get rid of you… I mean, send you away. I thought I was doing the right thing. Hell, it still might be the right thing to cut ties, but this,” he points at Gwen, “changes everything.”

  “This is a she, and she has a name,” I hiss at him, only making him snicker.

  “Got it, she. Well, she changes things. Ryder would never forgive me if I kept this from him.”

  “He doesn’t know yet?”

  “No. I told him to cut all ties, and he did. However, I kept tabs on you, just in case you decided to talk to the cops after all. I figured Ryder was the father, but I wasn’t sure until you listed him on the birth certificate.”

  Birth certificate?

  “How did you…?”

  “I have my ways,” Maddox explains, as he gets up from the chair. “I just wanted to tell you this before I give Ryder the green light to find you. What he does with that information is up to him. I honestly don’t know how he is going to react or what he is going to do. I guess we’ll find out soon.”

  And with that, he walks out of the room. Leaving me shocked and more confused than ever.

  It’s been a week since Gwen was born. The only reason I know is because I have her checkup at the Pediatrician’s office this afternoon. It’s hard to keep track of the days when you don’t really sleep at night anymore.

  My parents have offered to help me with nighttime feeding, but the truth is, I don’t mind. I love taking care of her, even if my own sleep schedule suffers.

  Plus, keeping myself busy makes me forget about Ryder. I waited for him to call or come by for the first few days but gave up on that quickly. He clearly doesn’t want to have anything to do with us. The thought hurts, cutting me deeper than I’d like to admit. I’m upset not only for myself but for our daughter as well.

  Shoving Ryder from my brain, I concentrate on the angel in my arms instead.

  I’m sprawled out on the couch, my daughter cradled on my chest, when Mojo suddenly jumps up from beside me. He paces through the room, barking at something outside. What the heck? He’s never acted like this before.

  A moment later, the doorbell rings, which makes Mojo go even more crazy.

  “What’s going on, Mojo? It’s probably just a delivery.” I get up from the couch and head toward the front door. Holding Gwen with one arm, I open the door with the other.

  I’ve barely got the handle turned when Mojo pushes through the door and jumps at the man in front of us.

  Ryder.

  “Calm down, Mojo,” he tries to make him sit, but the dog is just too excited to see him.

  After a moment, Ryder’s eyes find mine, and a long silence stretches between us. All I can do is stand there and look at him, unsure what to say or do.

  He is here… he is finally here, and he knows about Gwen.

  Guilt and worry fester in my stomach. Is he going to be mad that I didn’t tell him?

  “Hey,” he finally speaks. His gaze drops to the baby in my arms, and he sucks in an audible breath. Then his eyes snap back up, almost as if he is scared of looking at her.

  “I came up with this whole speech in my head, but I think it’s better if I just show you instead.”

  “Show me?”

  “Yeah. Both of you, actually. If you have some time now, I could take you.”

  “Um.” I chew on my bottom lip. I’m both excited and nervous. I want to go with him, but part of me worries about how safe we’ll be. Then I realize that I can’t go anyway. “My parents aren’t here, and the car seat is in their car.”

  “I’ve got a car seat in the truck,” he explains.

  “You do?” I stare at him, dumbfounded.

  “Yes, brand new. It’s a good on
e with all the extra safety features and shit.”

  “Oh,” I exhale, still astonished by Ryder being here. “I guess we could go. I just need to grab the diaper bag and put some shoes on… and get a fresh burp cloth.” I mentally run through the list of stuff I need to take when I go anywhere now.

  “You want me to hold her while you get everything?” His question has every thought floating around in my head scattering. “Only if you want to.”

  I glance down at Gwen, who blinks her eyes open and looks into the sky. The sunlight making her bright blue eyes shine even brighter. I’ve barely let go of her since she was born. Even my parents haven’t held her much, but Ryder is her father. I can’t refuse him to hold his child.

  “Okay.” I nod, taking a step toward him. “You just need to make sure her head is secure. She can’t hold up her neck yet.”

  “Got it, let her head wobble around.” He smirks.

  I know he is only joking, but the anxiety in my gut only expands as I gently place her into his waiting arms.

  He cradles her tiny body against his broad chest, her head securely placed in the crook of his arm. She seems so small in his hold, but something else too… protected. She looks like she belongs in his embrace.

  Ryder gapes at Gwen in adoration, like she already has him wrapped around her little finger.

  Slowly, my worries seep away as another feeling replaces them.

  Love.

  36

  Ryder

  I’m fucked. I’m most definitely fucked. That’s all I can think of as I take in the smallest baby I have ever seen. She is so tiny and fragile-looking. She weighs basically nothing in my arms, but I’m holding her like she is a diamond crusted brick of gold. Like she is the most precious thing in the world.

  Her eyes are the palest blue, her skin has a rose hue, and her hair is nothing more than blonde fuzz that curls slightly at the end. All I can do is stare at her in awe.

  She is perfect.

  A little angel.

  I can’t believe she is mine.

  One look at her, and I already know I would do anything for her. Anything to keep her safe, to make sure she is happy and has everything she could possibly want or need.

  “I named her Gwendolyn,” Penny’s voice makes me look up, and I realize she hasn’t moved yet. A moment later, the words she just said register. Gwendolyn.

  “That was my grandma’s name,” I point out the obvious.

  Penny gives me a small nod and smiles. “We call her Gwen.”

  “Gwen,” I repeat, trying out the name. “That fits her.”

  “I’ll get my stuff,” Penny tells me, and I watch her from the door as she dashes through the house to grab everything she needs.

  She slips on her shoes before hanging the diaper bag over her shoulder and comes to stand by me. Mojo hasn’t left me since I arrived and looks up at us with his head tilted to the side.

  “You can come too,” I tell him, and he eagerly follows me.

  Penny opens the back door, and under her watchful eyes, I carefully position Gwen into the already mounted car seat. I buckle her in like instructed by the manual and check her restraints three times.

  When I’m done, I turn to Penny, who gawks at me like I grew a second head. She blinks a few times, almost like she is making sure this is real before she walks around the truck and climbs in.

  Mojo jumps into the back and curls up next to the car seat. I get into the truck myself and start the engine.

  “Why couldn’t you take care of Mojo anymore?” Penny asks as I pull into the road.

  “I…” Briefly, I consider coming up with a lie, but I figure if I want this to work, I need to put all my cards on the table. “I just wanted you to have him. I knew he helped you with your anxiety, and I knew he kept you safe.”

  “Really?” She sounds surprised.

  “Yes, really. I can’t believe that’s the first question you ask me. Don’t you want to know where I’m taking you?”

  “Where are you taking us?”

  “You’ll see.” I smirk. “It’s only twenty minutes away.”

  Penny sinks into the seat with a sigh. She looks tired. Happy and healthy, but tired. Quickly, her sweet feminine smell mixed with the powdery newborn scent fills the cab. I suck in a deep breath, enjoying the fragrance while hoping to be surrounded by it often in the future.

  When I glance over at Penny to ask her if she gets a lot of sleep, I notice her dozing off. I guess that answers my question.

  A few minutes later, I pull up to the house. Penny startles awake as I put the truck in park.

  “Where are we?” Her question ends in a yawn.

  “If I’m lucky, your new home,” I explain.

  “What do you mean?” Penny’s eyes ping pong between me and the two-story family home I bought for her.

  “Let me show you the inside,” I tell her nervously. Shit, I didn’t think I would be this tense, but my mind is reeling. What if she says no? What if she doesn’t want this?

  Shaking those thoughts away, I get out of the truck. The car ride has put Gwen to sleep, so I unhook the car seat from its base and carry her like that.

  I walk up to the front of the house and reach into my pocket to dig out the key I picked up this morning. Penny follows every step I take while looking around with wonder.

  I unlock the door and push it open, ushering her inside. Mojo pushes past us and starts running through the house, sniffing every corner like he is making sure there is no danger inside.

  The house is already furnished, ready to move in.

  “I bought it from a family who moved overseas, so they sold it with all their shit inside. Their kids were older, though, so I had to redo the baby’s room. Do you want to see it?”

  Penny’s mouth is hanging open when she nods her head. I think she is too shocked to get a single word out.

  I lead her up the stairs and to the room, I hope our daughter will stay in. The walls were already pink, but I had to buy new furniture for the nursery. The white crib is pushed up against the wall, a star mobile hanging above it. A matching changing table and dresser are on the other side. But the best part of this room is the bay window surrounded by a bookshelf.

  “Do you like it?” I ask hesitantly.

  “It’s beautiful. I mean, who wouldn’t love it?” She looks around the room and runs her hand along the rails of the crib. “Ryder, what is all of this? Why did you buy this house?”

  “I want you and Gwen to live here…with me. I bought this house for you, I mean, for us. I know I fucked up in the past. I know you don’t have a reason to trust me, but I want to make this right. I want you and Gwen in my life for good.”

  “Wow.” She sighs deeply. “That’s a lot to take in.”

  “I know. You don’t have to decide right now, and if you don’t want to live here with me, the house is still yours.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” she admits.

  When she turns back around to face me, I notice how pale she looks.

  “Are you okay? You look like you’re about to pass out.”

  “I might.” She smiles. “I’ve barely slept the last week.” She rubs her eyes with the back of her hand.

  “Come on then, you can lie down in here for a bit.” I walk her to the room next to the nursery. The master suite was one of the selling points of this house.

  Penny groans when she sees the king-sized bed in the room. “I might sleep for a few days if I dare to lie down in that.”

  “Better than passing out in the nursery. Come on, get in,” I order. “I’m not taking no for an answer.”

  “Demanding as always.” Penny rolls her eyes at me but slips out of her shoes and crawls into the bed.

  Mojo trots into the room, sniffing around the car seat like he is making sure the baby is safe. When he seems satisfied, he finds a spot under the window to flop down.

  I unbuckle Gwen and carefully get her out of the car seat, so I can put her in the center of the bed. Pe
nny curls up next to her and closes her eyes. She goes to sleep almost immediately.

  I take off my boots and climb into the bed slowly, so I don’t wake either of them. I lie down but keep my head turned, so I can watch both of them.

  For the first time since I left Penny, I feel at peace. I feel like I could have a happy life with them. We could be a family.

  I just have to prove to Penny that I can do this. That I can love them the way they deserve, and that I deserve their love in return.

  Epilogue

  Penny

  One year later.

  I can’t believe this is really happening. A dream I’ve given up on dreaming years ago has finally come true. I’m enrolled in college as a full-time student. I could have started school a while ago, but I really wanted to spend all my time with Gwen. I didn’t want to miss a single milestone during her first year.

  I still have a little separation anxiety, but I know she is in excellent hands. She is a total Daddy’s girl, after all.

  “Dada!” She squeals and wiggles her way off the couch to walk over to Ryder. She only took her first steps two weeks ago, so her walk is more like a wobble.

  “You ready to take Mommy to her classes?” Ryder bends down and picks up Gwen. She nods her head and throws her thin dainty arms around Ryder’s thick neck.

  Seeing her with him will never get old.

  Ryder drives me to college, telling me about fifty times not to talk to any guys and to call him if anyone tries to hit on me. I agree and give him a kiss before climbing into the backseat to kiss Gwen.

  “I’ll be here to pick you up after your last class,” Ryder calls after me just before I close the door. I wave him goodbye and watch as he pulls his truck away.

  My first day is just as I always hoped it would be. My cheeks hurt from smiling, and I’m pretty sure the other people in class think I’m a weirdo for enjoying the lecture that much, but I don’t care. I’m just so happy.