The Hate Vow: A Dark Enemies to Lovers Romance Read online

  Reaching over, I flip on the bedside lamp so I can look at her. Maybe seeing her will remind me who is wrapped up in my arms. I take in her face. Her lips are slightly parted, her eyes are closed, and her lashes rest like tiny wings right below. Looking at her doesn’t change anything. I still want her. Still want to hold her, want to protect and take care of her.

  Stirring next to me, she slowly wakes up, her whole body goes stiff. Blinking, she looks around, and a moment of panic flashes over her face. When she realizes where she is, her body relaxes, and she melts back into my touch.

  “How long do we have to stay here?” she asks, her voice still sleepy.

  “However long it takes to find Tucker and have my place fixed up.” I’m sure she doesn’t like being here, but this will have to do.

  “About yesterday…” she starts but then pauses for a long time. “Are we… I mean, am I still paying off my debt?”

  My heart speeds up at her question. I know what she is asking. Was sex last night about money, or was it more? She wants to know where we stand, but I’m not ready to say it out loud. I can’t, maybe never.

  “Nothing has changed.” I give her a washed down answer.

  I feel her pulling away immediately, physically and mentally. I almost want to take it back… almost. But the truth is, nothing has changed, because it was never about the money for me. I always just wanted her. The only thing that did change is the reason I want her close.

  Of course, she doesn’t know that. She thinks I just want to use her body to get my money’s worth.

  “Why did you come for me? Why didn’t you just let Tucker get to me?”

  “How are you going to pay me back if you’re dead?”

  She flinches at my words, then turns her body away from me as if I shoved her away. I might as well, but this is the way it has to be. I can’t let her get too close. It’s going to make it harder for both of us when it’s time for her to leave.

  I’m not stupid. She is leaning on me now, letting me take care of her because she needs me, but as soon as Tucker is out of the picture and she is safe again, she is going back home. Back to her own life. There is no room for me in it.

  “Don’t make this out to be any more than it is.” Getting up from the bed, I pick up my clothes and pull them on. “You owe me. I take payment in the form of fucking. That’s it. Just because I’m nice to you in between doesn’t mean there is anything between us.”

  When I glance over at her, she is sitting up, her head lowered as she looks at her hands lying in her lap. The sheet is wrapped around her torso, hiding her perky little breasts from me.

  “Understood.” She nods, not looking up. Her long brown hair covering her face like a curtain, and I’m guessing that’s by design.

  “Get dressed. We have to go see Maddox.”

  She scurries off the bed, and I avert my gaze. If I look at her naked body right now, we won’t leave this room any time soon.

  When we leave, I grab hold of her upper arm and walk her down the hall. As we enter the bar area, I tighten my grip on her, pulling her along rougher than necessary. She whimpers but doesn’t complain.

  It’s early, and there are only a few people in the bar for a morning beer, but I don’t want anyone to know what Penny is to me. I walk her straight through the bar to the staircase leading up to Maddox’s office.

  I don’t let go of Penny until we’re in front of his door. She rubs her arm where I held onto her, and the unwanted pang of guilt hits me.

  Knocking on the door, I wait for Maddox to call us in.

  “Come in…”

  Pushing the door open, I step in and take a seat opposite him at his desk. Penny walks in after me timidly. She closes the door, and I motion for her to sit down next to me.

  Keeping her head down, like she is avoiding eye contact with Maddox, she takes the seat.

  “We still can’t find him,” he growls. “But since she is here, I have a job for her.”

  Maddox opens a drawer behind his desk and gets out a stack of papers, putting them on the table in front of Penny.

  “I need you to go through these and check all the numbers from the last few years.”

  “Okay,” she says so quietly, it’s almost inaudible. She clears her throat and when she talks again, it’s loud and clear. “But I want something in return.”

  Fuck.

  I grind my teeth together in anger. She is going to ask for her debt to be forgiven, I fucking know it. Without debt, I have no real reason to keep her here.

  Maddox leans back in his office chair. “Is that so? I don’t think you are in a position to make demands, but out of curiosity, what is it you want?”

  “I want a laptop and internet access,” she explains.

  “I’ll get you a fucking laptop,” I growl. “Now, run the damn numbers.” I don’t know who is more surprised by my outburst, Maddox, Penny, or myself.

  Her shaking hand reaches for the papers, and she looks through them.

  “I’ll need some time for these,” she whispers.

  “You can take them to Ryder’s room, but they are not leaving the compound–”

  Maddox hasn’t finished speaking when I’m on my feet. Gathering the papers, I shove them under my arm and grab Penny to pull her from her seat.

  “Anything else?” I growl.

  “Come back later, I need to talk to you in private,” he says dismissively.

  “Fine.” I nod and drag Penny out of the office and through the bar the same way we came.

  Slamming the door shut, I lock us back in my room and throw the stack of papers on the bed.

  “What the fuck was that?” I yell at her, making her go pale. Guilt is written all over her face, but not even that is calming me down right now.

  “I-I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I just need to fill out some applications–”

  “I don’t give a fuck,” I don’t let her finish. “You don’t demand things from Maddox. You don’t demand things from anyone here.”

  Fuck. She has no idea what she just did.

  “I’m sorry,” she repeats, but her words don’t matter. The damage has been done.

  “Start on the papers,” I order and turn away from her.

  Leaving the room, I walk back upstairs to talk to Maddox. Before I enter his office, I take a calming breath, as if that would help.

  Not knocking this time, I simply walk into his office and take the seat across from him.

  “She needs to go. She is nothing but trouble, and she doesn’t know her place.”

  “I’m handling it.”

  “Fuck you are. You’re not handling shit. She has you wrapped around her little finger, and the guys are taking notice. You need to stop thinking with your dick and start using your brain. You are bound to this club, not to some pussy. Deal with her, or I’ll do it.”

  His threat hangs in the air. I want to tell him to fuck off, but the truth is he is right. Whether or not I want to admit it, she has been getting under my skin. Worse than that, she makes me look weak. This has to stop.

  I need to end this… and I need to do it before Maddox does.

  25

  Penny

  Ryder is giving me whiplash with his mood swings and multiple personalities. One minute, he is swooping in to save me, and the next, he is keeping me locked in a room.

  In one breath, he tells me, I like taking care of you. The next, he tells me, you owe me, I take payment in the form of fucking. That’s it.

  Which one is it? Am I really that desperate I’m imagining there is something else between us?

  There are these moments when I’m positive there is more. The way he kissed me back and held me to keep me warm. The way he washed me in the shower and then let me wash him in return.

  It’s been three days, and I feel like I’m going crazy. Being locked in a windowless room doesn’t help. At least I have something to do now.

  The first two days I spent going over the bookkeeping Maddox had given me. Tucker ha
d been skimming money since he started running the numbers, but in the past, it was not a lot. Only recently, he has been getting greedy, taking more and more cash that didn’t belong to him.

  Yesterday, Ryder made good on his words and brought me a laptop. I’ve been on it non-stop, using this time to fill out college and grant applications.

  Ryder gets me breakfast each morning but leaves me here throughout the day. I wait for him to come back. Each day, I wait with anticipation for the door to open and for him to walk in. Today is no different.

  Checking the time in the corner of the computer screen, I realize he’s been gone for a long time. It’s Saturday night, and the music from the bar is louder than usual. I try not to think about Ryder being there, drinking with his friends, and the naked women.

  Jealousy wraps around my chest, making it feel tight and hard to breathe. I don’t want to imagine Ryder with another woman, but I’m not stupid. I have no claim on him.

  When I hear the rattling of the key and the lock turn, I close my laptop and set it next to me on the bed. Expecting Ryder, I watch the door swing open, and a large body fills the frame. I suck in a sharp breath when I realize it’s not Ryder stepping in the room.

  “Hello, Penny,” Maddox’s voice is clipped as he closes the door behind him.

  I instinctively scoot back on the bed until my back is pressed firmly against the headboard. Maddox steps closer, a mischievous grin tucking on his lips.

  “W-where is Ryder?” I ask, failing miserably to keep my voice even. His grin widens. He knows I’m scared of him, and he enjoys that thought. Men like him feed on it.

  “Getting drunk. Having fun.” He sits down on the edge of the bed, and I pull my legs to my chest as much as I can.

  “Why are you here?” I ask, knowing damn well that I won’t like the answer.

  “Just wanted to ask you some questions. Ever since you walked into my bar, Ryder has been different. Distracted. You’re a weakness, and I can’t have that.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say on autopilot. I’m not sure what I’m apologizing for exactly, but he clearly thinks this is my fault.

  “You are the girl who got him sent to jail, aren’t you?”

  I swallow hard, an enormous lump forming in my throat. “Y-yes.”

  “I don’t know what game you are playing, but it’s going to stop now.”

  “I’m not… I mean I don’t–”

  “Shut up,” he growls, the raw anger in his voice making me flinch. “Let’s go. You’re coming with me.”

  “Where are we going?”

  Grabbing my arm, he gets to his feet and pulls me up with him. “You’re going to pay off your debt tonight, so you can be gone by the morning.”

  “Please…” I beg, digging my heels into the floor as he drags me out of the room. “Please, don’t!” I say a little louder, but my pleading falls on deaf ears.

  “You’re going to walk into that bar and give everyone a little show. Then you’re going to suck off whoever wants your lips wrapped around their dick, and when you’re done with that, you are going to walk out the front door and never come back. Are we clear?”

  No, no, no! I shake my head profusely. Ryder said no one would touch me. He promised. My head tells me to believe him, to trust what he said, but my body isn’t convinced.

  By the time we enter the bar, I’m in full on panic mode. My heart is racing, and I feel like I can’t breathe. I scan the room for Ryder, hoping, praying he is here, but all I see are unknown faces.

  Maddox drags me through the bar area by my arm, and I’m reminded of the very first time I was here. The same fear I felt then is coursing through my veins now.

  We get to the back of the bar, and that’s when I finally see him. Ryder is sitting at one of the tables, his hand wrapped around a beer bottle in front of him. He looks up, and his eyes find mine immediately.

  “Ryder has finally agreed to share,” Maddox announces. “This is going to be her last night here, so make it count, boys.”

  Appreciative cheers erupt around us while Ryder sits still like a stone statue.

  For a split second, I think he is going to jump up and rip me away from his friend. I think he’ll save me, protect me like he promised, but he doesn’t move. His face giving nothing away. His glassy eyes void of emotions.

  Hopelessness washes over me, threatening to pull me into the darkest waters to drown.

  Maddox shoves me into the crowd, and hands I don’t know grope me. I try to get away, fight them off, but that only makes them grab me harder.

  “There she is! I’ve been waiting for you, sweets,” someone slurs. I squeeze my eyes shut when he presses his face into the crook of my neck, licking my skin there.

  I recoil, bile rising in my throat, making the man only laugh louder. Someone else comes up behind me and grinds himself against my ass. Another hand grabs my breast, kneading it painfully. A sob rips from my throat, and tears spring from my eyes.

  “Cry for us,” someone whispers in my ear. “Makes my cock hard.”

  A hand shoves into my pants, cruel fingers running over my panties, digging painfully into my sensitive flesh. I want to keep fighting, want to be strong and brave, but I know there is no use. That will only make it worse.

  So, I do the only thing I can. I stop fighting, stop thinking, stop being present in this room. I let my mind go blank, letting darkness surround me. The voices get further away, their touch less painful. I’m about to be gone, in the place I visit during my darkest hours.

  Just before I close myself off completely, something happens around me. The fingers between my legs disappear, the hands groping my breasts vanish, and I’m moved around the room forcefully.

  I’m slammed against a brick wall, hard enough to knock the air out of me. Before I have the chance to regain my bearings, a large hand wraps around my throat, holding me in place.

  My hands come up, pressing against the chest of my attacker, but he moves as much as the wall behind me would.

  My eyes fly open, but I can’t see anything besides the dark fabric covering the shoulder right in front of me. I suck in a breath, taking in a familiar male scent. Ryder.

  “Calm the fuck down,” he growls. His lips so close, I can feel his breath against the shell of my ear.

  As soon as I hear his voice, my fingers curl into his shirt, pulling him closer instead of shoving him away.

  His grip around my neck is firm, but not enough to make it hard to breathe. Instead of me panicking more, it calms me.

  His body is pressed up against mine, and only then do I realize what he is doing. With the wall behind me, there is only him. He surrounds me, and no one can touch me—no one but him.

  To everyone else, it might look like he is scaring me, choking me, crowding my space. But Ryder knows how to use his body to soothe my fears, and that’s exactly what he is doing.

  I relax into his hold, trusting him with my body, believing that he is going to protect me from everything bad.

  I don’t fight him when he pulls me away, and I don’t fight him when he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder.

  Wherever he is taking me, whatever he is going to do, I know I’ll be safe.

  26

  Ryder

  Without looking at Maddox or anyone else, I push through the crowd with Penny hanging over my shoulder.

  The guys are hollering after me to come back, to share her with them like I’m supposed to, but I keep walking to the front of the bar.

  Tank, our bouncer, gives me a questionable look when I pass him, but doesn’t make a move to stop me. Thank fuck. He is nicknamed Tank for a reason, after all.

  I hurry around the side of the building where my truck is parked and deposit Penny in the passenger’s seat. I’m halfway around the truck when I see Maddox approach. Fuck.

  “What the fuck are you thinking?” he snaps at me. “Have you lost your goddamn mind?”

  “I’m leaving,” is all I say, grabbing the handle of the door. Before
I can pull it open, Maddox shoves me away from the truck.

  “Do you even realize what you just did?”

  “I know exactly what I did. It’s you that doesn’t realize the mistake you made,” I spit back at him, shoving against his shoulders. “I told you! I told you, I’d fucking handle it, but you had to step in. You had to make sure you got your way.”

  I’ve known Maddox for five years, and I can count on one hand the time I could see any kind of emotion written on his face. Right now, there is no doubt about what he is feeling. Utter shock. He is absolutely shocked by my words.

  “When did I ever not stand by my word? When did I ever not deliver? In five years, not once, not one single time, did I give you a reason not to trust me, and still, you had to go against me on this.”

  “I do what’s best for the club,” he says, a little more composed now. “That’s all I care about.”

  “Maybe that’s your problem. I care about the club too, but that doesn’t mean I can’t care about something else along with it.”

  “Are you saying you are putting her before the club?” Maddox points to the cab of my truck.

  “I’m saying I protect what’s mine. That goes for both the club and her.”

  “You are blind. She is nothing but some broad who fucked you over once. She is going to fuck you over again, and this time I’ll let you rot in jail.” Maddox turns away from me.

  “Fuck you.” I open the door and climb into the truck. Turning on the engine, I watch as my best friend walks back into the bar without me, and I can’t help but wonder if I just made the biggest mistake of my life.

  We drive in complete silence, which is a good thing because I don’t trust myself to say anything right now.

  I pull up to a motel on the other side of town and put the truck in park. When I get out, Penny follows me into the run-down lobby.

  She stands close behind me as I pay for a room.